The wounds of childhood
Traumatic and destabilising events that happen to us in our early years, have the power to pull our strings throughout the rest of our lives. While we may be able to look back on them with adult eyes, the damage that was done to the child endures in the subconscious.
This is because childhood and adolescence is the time when our brain is making the map of the world and our place (and worth) within it for ease of navigation through life.
Here are some ways that childhood wounding can continue to affect you now.
Shame
The wound of shame can lead to a lifelong fear of judgement, low self-esteem, chronic guilt, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. Adults may struggle with perfectionism, fear of failure, and an inability to be vulnerable, often leading to anxiety, depression, or people-pleasing behaviors.
Abandonment
The wound of abandonment can cause fear of rejection and a difficulty in trusting others that can even lead to us pushing others away so as not to be rejected ourselves. It can lead to people pleasing and the need to seek validation to feel ‘safe’, causing unhealthy co-dependent relationships or relationship avoidance completely.
Guilt
The wound of guilt can make us feel overly responsible for other people’s feelings and can cause poor boundary setting and maintenance. Guilt can lead us to down-prioritise our own needs.
Neglect
Emotional or physical neglect can create a sense of unworthiness or invisibility, making it difficult for the individual to recognize their needs or seek help in adulthood. The neglect wound can also draw us towards others who might continue to not see us, as that feels comfortable and familiar.
Betrayal
The wound of betrayal can lead to difficulties in developing trust in relationships, causing neediness for external validation and even difficulty in trusting your own self.
All of these wounds can have long-lasting impacts that can manifest in maladaptive coping mechanisms like substance abuse or other addictive behaviours, emotional withdrawal or workaholism, highlighting the importance of healing through therapy and self-compassion.
Cognitive Hypnotherapy is an evidence-based approach to healing inner conflicts by working with the way the subconscious mind stores past experiences and uses them to make sense of the world today.
I offer trauma-healing coaching with cognitive hypnotherapy from my practice in Colchester (Essex), online, and by arrangement in London.